Alligator shoes

This fella was on vacation down south in the deepest part of Louisiana, and he wanted to buy some alligator shoes. Trouble was, they cost way too much—least as far as he was concerned. He tried haggling some shoe sellers down, but nobody would budge on the price.

He thought they were all trying to cheat him, and finally said, “I don't care two hoots for your shoes—I'm going out and bag my own ‘gator.”

The shopkeeper responded, “All right then, mister. Suit yourself—you just better watch out for those two good ole boys who’re doing the same.”

So the fella went into the deepest part of the Bayou to hunt for a ‘gator. After a while, he saw two men—really big guys—standing very still next to the water holding spears. He thought these guys must be the two good ole boys he’s supposed to look out for.

Just then, he notices an alligator slowly moving through the water towards one of them. Even while the ‘gator got closer, the man remained absolutely still.

At the last moment, the man slammed his spear clean through the ‘gator’s neck, stopping him just as slick as you please. Then, he wrestled the dying gator up onto the shore, where several other dead ‘gators lay trussed up side by side.

Together, the two guys tied up the ‘gator and threw it over on its back. Whereupon, one of them exclaimed,

“Damn! This one don't have shoes on either!”

(The above was originally told by Roy Blount, Jr., a true Southern Gentleman, on NPR’s Wait, Wait … Don’t tell me.)